Sunday, August 13, 2006
yesterday was a nightmare for me.. thing which i have been worry happen.. me and him quarrel again.. friday was eilene baby gal first cry.. i sms him and told him that i hope he can go with me to see the little new born but he give all reason saying that he dont wish to go. And then we quarrel again in angrier i told him that i wanna break up. tired to heard reason from him. he take it seriouly. Friday night i sms him. he didnt reply and saturday morning i call he off he phone i thought maybe he is still in army so didnt took it in hurt but at around 2+ finally he on his phone i told him when he book out he told me morning 11am. ask him if he would wanna bring mi to see the fire work that evening but he say he going out. ask him if he eat le ma he say no therefore i hang up the phone and let him rest. not long his sister call me to acc her and she ask me if i am go over to her house i ask her when is her kor book out she told me was friday 11pm! Omg i dont believe her i told myself he wouldnt bluff me de. reach home i say barry on line and i ask him where they go he told me that he only saw wenda at night 11 on friday night. finally i know that he was say lie to me.. really upset and dont know wad the reason why he didnt call me and bluffing me. call him and i told him yet he still insisting that he book out on the sat after hanging up the phone with me still call her sister and barry to scold them for telling me.
i call him again tell him i dont wan to quarrel with him tell ask him to tell me the true wad the reason what have i done wrong he shouted at me telling me that he dont wan see me telling me that he want to cool down telling me he need time and hang up phone when i call back the phone was off. i cry and almost break. i went down his house waited for him. lucky carry and his sister acc me. i smoke that night. barry let me stay at his house to wait for him so i wouldnt be all alone outside he give me cigarette. i so near to him yet afriad to go toward him i scare he will be more stress i waited till 11+ then i went over stand outside his house hoping he would say something nice to me but nope he stare at me andwatch he tv. i told her sister to give me back my bag and i went to the staircase and sit. he sister come out and acc me i told her to get me cigarette from barry so kind of barry he give me the whole pack. after not long barry went out and took 1 cigarette from me hahaha and i was on the line with zhu. he let me see 1000 note and smile and when down stair not long jovin call me and ask me to join them. again we went back to barry house when jovin wanna go home i went back to the staircase again. with acc on the phone i dont feel so alone le.(thanks zhu) not long after i hang up the phone his daddy come up with his sister asking me to go in. i told them i wouldnt go in i know they care but i dont wan them to do any thing for me i just wanna wait for him and acc him back to camp can le. as i really miss him so much. his daddy chat with me and we somke together this is the first time he saw me somke. he told me he gib wenda new line. =( i was so upset hearing that i know wad is wenda going to do lor. not long his mummy come up too they call wenda up to i told them dont need i going home le. but when wenda come out too he give me that face.i dont know wad to say. really sad the way he treated me. asking me to go in his house and we have a talk. in his room i ask him why wad happen wad have i done he promise me he wouldnt leave me alone he told me he wouldnt do this to me. but yet he had done it. he ask me if he wanna cool down can i gove him time i say ok. he say if he wan break? i cried. asking myself why i give in so much why must i alway got hurt why is he alway hurting me. he hug me ask me not to cry i told him i my sorry i dont know wad i had done making him to do this to me he tell me he is stress while he hugging me i cried more again he told me that he wouldnt leave me yet my heart sang.. i dont know if this is from his heart before that he was so hard he told his dad he wanna break but.. i ask him why he changing he line is it that he wanna cut off the old line and use the new want so i wouldnt find him any more yet he told me he not so heartless he told me wouldnt do that to me. he say he heart feel pain too. i dont know wad i m doing knowing that no ending yet still step in. worry worry worry. why my love life so miserable. i tried of getting worry one day i lost him. knowing i would get hurt yet still holding he hand telling him not to go. morning we went back to his camp and he give me money ask the taxi uncle to send me home giving me a kiss and off he went in. when i reach downstair he call me and ask if i had reach home called me with he new number and ask me to save. hai.. tired feeling so worry now dont know wad to say when he call to night. having night mare he would leave mi =(

[zHu tOe ]
at 3:03 PM